


Old Hurts

by penguingal, Schnaucl (Onetrackmind)



Category: Numb3rs
Genre: Incest, M/M, comment porn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-04-09
Updated: 2006-04-09
Packaged: 2017-11-21 06:37:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/594606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/penguingal/pseuds/penguingal, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Onetrackmind/pseuds/Schnaucl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Don and Charlie have been together for about a month when one of Don's childhood friends moves to L.A.  When Don reverts to childhood behavior Charlie feels his place threatened not just as Don's lover but also as his brother.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Old Hurts

"Well if it isn't little Charlie Eppes. Always knew you'd grow up to be a professor."  
  
Charlie turned from his blackboard and it took a moment for recognition to set in. Thomas Christianson had been their neighbor and one of Don's best friends until they went their separate ways in college. "Tom," Charlie said, making sure his smile was welcoming.   
  
Charlie had always been jealous of Tom's close relationship to Don. Never more so than when he'd overheard his brother telling their mom that he wished _Tom_ was his brother and not Charlie.  
  
As an adult, he knew it was just one of those things older siblings say when their younger siblings have tagged along once too often, or when Mom and Dad had told Don to include him when Don wanted to play alone with his friends. But as a child it had been a tremendous blow and he'd sulked for weeks without ever saying why. Truthfully, even as an adult the memory still stung.  
  
"How have you been?" Charlie asked, trying to put aside old hurts.  
  
"Good, good. I kept looking for Don's name in the Big Show but it looks like he left after Stockton?"  
  
"Yeah, he joined the FBI."  
  
"Don's a fed?" Tom asked with a wide grin. "Man. You think you know a guy... Actually, that's why I stopped by. I just moved back into town and I wanted to see if Don's in the area. I checked the phone book. Didn't find Don but found you and your dad."  
  
"Yeah, he's in town, he's just not listed." He scribbled Don's phone number on a piece of paper and took Tom's information to pass along.  
  
Don didn't bother looking at his phone when it rang; he just picked it up. "Eppes."  
  
"Man, you even answer the phone like a fed."  
  
Don's brow creased. "Who is this?"  
  
"C'mon, you mean you don't remember the guy who helped you get hooked up with Rebecca Leahy in the 10th grade?"  
  
"Tommy?" he asked, incredulous.  
  
"The one and only, Donny! I'm back in town."  
  
Don laughed. "Hey man, it's great to hear from you. How the hell did you get this number?"  
  
"Went to see your kid brother when I couldn't find you in the phone book. He gave it to me. I just called to find out if you wanted to have a beer or something later."  
  
"Yeah, I'm supposed to have dinner at my Dad's tonight, but maybe you can come along and we'll go out after. I know Dad'd love to see you, too."  
  
Charlie tried to mask his surprise and bury the quick flash of hurt when Don showed up at the house with Tom. He shouldn't have been surprised, really. Dad, of course, was delighted to see him.  
  
Out of the corner of his eye, Don saw Charlie retreat into the kitchen after saying hello to Tom. He sat with Tom and Dad for a few minutes before casually following him, finding Charlie at the sink, rinsing wine glasses.  
  
"Hey. You want white or red?" Charlie asked, setting the glass aside.  
  
"What are we having?" Don said, leaning on the counter.  
  
"Dad made lasagna again."  
  
"Red," Don answered. "Hey, c'mon, why don't you leave that for now and come talk to Tom."  
  
Charlie picked up the next glass without looking at Don. "No, that's okay. Dinner's almost ready. We'll be eating soon."  
  
"Charlie--"  
  
Charlie took a deep breath so he wouldn't snap at Don. "I'll talk to him in a few minutes. Besides, I'm sure you two have lots of catching up to do," he said lightly.  
  
"Yeah," Don said, smiling. "In a way though, it's almost like he never left. He's exactly the way I remember him. We're going to hang out together after dinner, really get caught up."  
  
"Tonight?" Charlie said, finally lifting his head, eyes round. "I--I thought we were going to get together tonight." He tried to keep his voice light, but he knew Don wouldn't buy it.  
  
"Can't we reschedule? C'mon, he just got into town and I haven't seen him for years."  
  
 _And I can see you anytime_. He didn't say it, but Charlie heard it all the same.  
  
"It's just--we really haven't had any time alone together lately," Charlie said softly, eyes flicking to the door once. "You know, nevermind. It is Tom's first night back in town. You should hang with him tonight." His eyes flicked to Don's face before sliding away again, returning to his task of washing the glasses.  
  
Don turned his head and checked the door before wrapping an arm around Charlie's shoulders and pressing a kiss into his hair. "I'll make it up to you," he whispered in Charlie's ear. "I promise."  
  
"I'm looking forward to it," he said with a forced lightness. He told himself it wasn't a return to old patterns, Don blowing him off in favor of spending time with Tom. It was ridiculous. They weren't kids anymore. Don just hadn't seen him in a while, that was all.  
  
Grinning and dropping Charlie a quick wink, he returned to the living room. Dinner conversation flowed easily, Tom doing most of the talking. Turned out he was a lawyer and had been offered a position at a prestigious firm in LA. He'd just moved back a few days ago and the first thing he'd done was look Don up.  
  
After dinner, Charlie retreated to the garage and Don and Tom helped clean up before they headed out. Don stuck his head in to say goodnight to Charlie. "Hey buddy, I'm taking off."  
  
"Good night. Have a good time. Call me later?" Charlie asked, trying not to sound as insecure as he felt.  
  
"I will," Don promised, winking at him and letting the door swing shut behind him.  
  
....  
  
The next day, just after noon, Don's phone rang and he picked up absently. "Eppes."  
  
"Forget something?" Charlie's voice said.  
  
"Shit. I'm sorry buddy," Don apologized. "Tom and I were out kinda late last night and when I got home I had just enough energy to crawl into bed."  
  
Charlie sighed. "Forget about it. Take me out to lunch and make it up to me."  
  
"Um, I can't today. Tom and I already have plans for lunch. I'm meeting him in about 20 minutes. Look," Don said, stalling another of Charlie's sighs, "come to the office after your last class, we'll have dinner at my place, okay?"  
  
"Okay," Charlie said after a moment. "I'll let you get back to work."   
  
He tried not to be hurt, it wasn't like Don had never forgotten to call when he said he would. Charlie had done it before, too. But it was different when Don got involved in a case or Charlie got wrapped up in math.   
  
But it would be okay. Things were different now. He and Don were different. They certainly hadn't been sleeping together back then. But a month into this new relationship was too early to really feel secure. And so help him, if he got to the office after his class and Don blew him off again...  
  
"Some of the guys at the office are getting together for beers after work," Tom said toward the end of lunch. "You wanna come?"  
  
"Thanks, Tom, but I can't. Not tonight," Don said, figuring that would be the end of it.  
  
"Why not? Got a date?" Don just took a bite of his sandwich, not answering. "You DO have a date," Tom crowed. "Who is she Donny? That cute little DA chick you told me about? Met her today, actually. What's her name?"  
  
"Nadine. And no. It's no one you know," Don said cryptically. "And it's not really a date. It's just a casual sort of thing."  
  
"Uh huh," Tom said, nodding and pretending to believe him, but letting it drop for the moment.  
  
Charlie dutifully showed up after his last class, half prepared for Don to tell him that something had come up and send him on his way back home.  
  
"Hey buddy," Don said, lifting his head from the file in front of him and smiling at him. "Just gimme two minutes and we can get out of here, okay? How do you feel about Chinese food tonight? We can order in." He let his voice drop just a little, dropping his brother a quick wink.  
  
"That sounds great," Charlie said, relaxing a little. "How was your lunch?"  
  
"It was good," Don said, not bothering to elaborate. He scribbled a note to himself and placed it in the folder, flipping it shut and grabbing his jacket off the back of his chair. "Come on, I'm starved." He pushed gently at Charlie's shoulder, ushering him to the elevator.  
  
Charlie smiled and let Don lead the way. He didn't really want to talk about Tom anyway, but he thought Don might think it odd if he didn't at least ask.  
  
Don waited until they were securely behind the tinted windows of his SUV, still giving the parking lot a quick scan, before he pulled Charlie over for a fierce kiss. "I really am sorry about lunch today," he murmured against Charlie's lips. "Can I make it up to you?"  
  
"Depends," he said, licking Don's bottom lip lightly. "How do you intend to do so?"  
  
"I was thinking food," Don purred, claiming Charlie's lips again. "And then I was thinking we could have some mind-blowing sex. But I'm flexible. We can make love first, if you'd prefer." He grinned.  
  
"Sex first," Charlie said immediately. "It's been too long."  
  
"I'm sorry about that, too," Don said softly, pulling out of the parking lot and heading for his place.   
  
He took some side roads to get them there faster, pulling Charlie against him and kissing him firmly as soon as they were inside and the door was locked.  
  
Charlie wrapped his arms around him and kissed him fiercely, almost desperately. "Don, please. Fuck me."  
  
Blinking a little in surprise, Don just nodded, backing Charlie to the bedroom, starting to strip him as they went. He'd figured Charlie would want to take it slow, draw things out, but it sounded like he wanted something a little hungrier, a little more immediate, and Don didn't want to deny him that. He nibbled on Charlie's neck and collarbone as he worked at Charlie's jeans, moaning a little at the feel of his brother's clever fingers at his own belt buckle.  
  
Charlie moaned and kissed Don hungrily. He needed this, needed it _now_. It had been a while, but mostly he needed this to cover his growing insecurity. He pulled at Don's clothes, stripping him quickly and efficiently.  
  
Naked, they tumbled to the bed, Charlie automatically spreading his legs and offering himself to Don. He leaned up and pulled Don's earlobe between his teeth, nibbling sharply and making Don moan.  
  
"God, Charlie," he groaned. "Need you."  
  
"Have me," Charlie replied, pulling Don down into another fierce kiss. Stretching, Don was able to grab the lubricant from its place next to the bed and without further ado, slid one slicked finger deep inside his brother.  
  
Charlie moaned and wriggled, feeling reckless. Right this second he didn't care about being prepped, didn't care about anything except the fact that Don wasn't inside him yet.  
  
Don groaned, his own desire and need spiking through him. He slid two more fingers into Charlie quickly in succession, not wanting to hurt him but not able to delay. Bending Charlie's knees and pushing them back, Don pushed into him in one long, steady thrust.  
  
Charlie cried out and held Don more tightly, already moving his body in their familiar rhythm.  
  
"Charlie, Charlie," Don chanted as he pulled out and thrust back in over and over, claiming and possessing him. He felt that familiar tightening at the base of his spine and wrapped a hand around Charlie's cock, wanting them to come together.  
  
"Don!" He kissed Don fiercely, shuddering and giving his brother everything he could.  
  
Don gasped, feeling Charlie's muscles start to tighten around him and he let go, crying out as his orgasm tore through him.  
  
Charlie came almost as soon as Don did, tightening his arms and legs around his brother's body.  
  
As the aftershocks eased, Don dropped his head to Charlie's chest, letting his legs slide off his shoulders as he panted, trying to get his breath back. He eased out of Charlie and rolled to his side, gathering him in his arms and kissing his temple. "Better?"  
  
"Yeah," Charlie said quietly. "Thanks."  
  
"You know I love you, right?" Don asked, turning his head and looking him in the eyes. "You're my whole world."  
  
"I forget sometimes," Charlie admitted.  
  
Don tipped his head so he was looking Charlie directly in the eyes. "When you forget, I'll remind you. I'm yours, Charlie. Forever." He leaned down, kissing Charlie deeply. "Come on, let's get something to eat. I'll need the sustenance if I'm going to make love to you again."  
  
"Getting old?" he teased, grinning.  
  
"I'll show you old," Don grumbled, swiftly climbing over Charlie and pinning him to the mattress. He claimed Charlie's lips hungrily, waiting until Charlie lost himself in the kiss before pulling back. "Come on. I'm starving."  
  
....  
  
A few days later, Don sat on his couch in the early evening, absently surfing through channels and waiting for Charlie. They were supposed to eat and then meet Larry and Amita for coffee, but he was hoping he could persuade Charlie to stay in. Typically, Charlie was late, and Don was getting hungry. Finally, there was a knock on the door and Don switched off the TV. "Finally," Don said, getting up to answer it. "I thought you'd never--Tom!"   
  
"Hey Donny," Tom said, handing him a pizza box. Don stuck his head out into the hallway, looking confused. By the time he shut the door, Tom was inside rooting around in his fridge. "You got any beer?"  
  
"Tom, what are you doing here?"  
  
"What, a guy can't drop in on his buddy? Were you expecting someone else? That girlfriend you refuse to tell me about maybe?" He pulled a beer out and opened the cap.  
  
"No. I mean you're always welcome. Charlie's supposed to come by and we were going to hang out is all."  
  
"Man, some things never change," Tom laughed. Don was saved from having to respond by the sound of Charlie's key in the door.  
  
"Sorry I'm--Tom," Charlie said, surprised. He took in the pizza box and the open beer in Tom's hand.   
  
"Hello to you, too," Tom said, grinning.  
  
Charlie dropped his head and closed the door. "Sorry. Hi. Nice to see you." He looked at Don in the eyes and Don just looked back, shrugging.   
  
"You don't mind if I hang out with you two tonight do you?" Tom asked, taking a slice of pizza from the box in Don's hand and going to sit on the couch.   
  
"No. Of course not," Charlie said, voice flat. He headed into the kitchen asking Don to come with him with his eyes.  
  
"I'll be right back." Don put the pizza on the counter. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "He just showed up. I didn't know what to say to get rid of him."  
  
"Here's a thought, you could have told him we had plans. Which we did. Unless you think he wants to meet Amita and Larry, too."  
  
"Hey, take it easy," Don whispered, his brow furrowing. "I told him you were coming over and we were going to hang out. What did you want me to do, tell him to go away so I could have some time alone to fuck my brother?"  
  
Charlie clenched his jaw. "You know what? Forget it. You hang out with Tom, I'm going to meet Amita and Larry."  
  
"Charlie, come on. Don't do this. Just hang with me and Tom for a bit and then we'll go meet Larry and Amita like we planned. It's not that big a deal." But Charlie just shook his head.   
  
"I'll talk to you later, Don."  
  
"Charlie would just--you're acting like a child."  
  
Charlie ignored him and went back to the main room. "I was supposed to meet up with some other people, too," he said as politely as he could. "So I'm going to take off."  
  
"Oh. Well, okay," Tom said, surprised. "Are you sure my being here isn't--"  
  
"It's fine. I know Don loves to see you."  
  
"Hey, you wouldn't happen to know who his mysterious girl friend is, would you?"  
  
Don leaned in the kitchen doorway behind Tom. _Stay_ , he mouthed at Charlie, his eyes wide. _Please_.  
  
"No. Don doesn't tell me those kinds of things," Charlie said flatly. "Enjoy your evening." And he turned on his heel and left.  
  
He took a couple of deep breaths when he got back into the car. He could have handled Tom being there. It wasn't his first choice, but he could have dealt. It was the way Don had dismissed their time together that pissed him off.   
  
He hadn't gone over there to fuck. He'd gone over there to spend some time with Don that wasn't about work and wasn't about family. And yeah, they'd been planning to see his friends later, but that was--later.  
  
He liked the physical aspect of their relationship, but there had to be more to it or he certainly would have fulfilled that need with someone who wasn't his own flesh and blood.   
  
When he got to the coffee shop he took another deep breath before entering.  
  
"Hey Charlie!" Amita said brightly. "Where's Don? I thought he was coming with y--"  
  
"Well, he's not," he said curtly.   
  
Amita blinked and exchanged a glance with Larry. "May I ask what the fight was about, Charles?"  
  
"No. But we can all drink coffee and talk about something else. Anything else."  
  
....  
  
Don grabbed a beer from his fridge and tossed the cap angrily in the sink, taking a long swig. What was he supposed to do?   
  
"Hey," Tom leaned in the doorway. "You okay?"  
  
"Yeah," Don said, darkly. "Yeah, Charlie's just being--Charlie." He shook himself a little. "I'm sorry. Is there a game on or something?"  
  
"Yeah. Listen, you can tell me, you know? I mean I'm here if you need it."  
  
"Thanks," Don said softly. "Come on, let's go watch the game."  
  
Don tried to focus on the game, tried to engage with Tom when he tried to start a conversation, but his thoughts were on Charlie. He checked his phone almost every 10 minutes, waiting for him to call. Eventually, Tom stood up, turning off the TV. "Hey, where are you going?"  
  
"I'm going to head home. Just call him okay? You're driving me nuts. Thanks for the beer." Tom patted him on the shoulder and let himself out.  
  
Don stared at his phone for a long moment before picking it up and dialing Charlie. He waited, a flutter of nervousness running through him as it rang and a rush of disappointment when he got voicemail. "Hey. You were right and I was an idiot. I'm sorry, buddy. We had plans tonight and I should have made that clearer to Tom. Should have told him I wanted it just to be you and me. And our relationship is about way more than just sex. I screwed up. Just--I'm sorry. Call me, okay? Bye."  
  
Charlie ignored his ringing phone, he knew without checking it was Don. He let it go to voicemail because he wasn't up to hearing whatever it was Don had to say.   
  
By the time he did check it--a little after 1 a.m., he wished he'd checked sooner. Don had to be upset if he mentioned their sex life in voicemail. He hesitated because it was late but dialed Don's number anyway.  
  
Don sat on the couch, the TV on but he was barely paying attention. He chewed on his thumbnail, his phone cradled loosely in the other hand, and he jumped when it rang. "I'm so sorry," he said without preamble after checking the caller ID. "He's not here, by the way, in case you were wondering."  
  
"I wasn't," he said softly. "I was an ass, too. I'm sorry."  
  
Don sighed with relief into the phone. "I-I know it's late. Do you want to come over? I mean. I understand if you don't but I have the whole day off tomorrow and I'd really like to spend it with you."  
  
"I'd like that, too," he said quietly. "I'll be over as soon as I can."  
  
Don paced the living room until he heard Charlie's key in the door. He barely waited for it to open before grabbing Charlie in a fierce hug and kissing him deeply. Charlie kicked the door shut, mostly out of precaution as he met Don's lips.  
  
"I am such an idiot, Charlie," Don said, leaning his forehead against Charlie's. "The last thing I'd ever want to do is make you think the time we spend together isn't precious to me. But ordinarily, this is exactly the kind of thing I could share with Tom, and it's got me all twisted around. I'm sorry."  
  
"It's okay," he said softly. "No, it is," he said, gently pressing his thumb against Don's lips. "I overreacted. I do know you consider our time together important, if all you wanted was sex we both know you'd go elsewhere. I'm about the most complicated, fucked up person you could choose. And because of that, I just--it's so new and I get scared that one day you'll decide there's someone who could make you just as happy but without these complications."  
  
"Hey," Don said gently, pulling Charlie over to the couch to sit with him, "we knew when we got into this it wasn't going to be easy, that these were the kinds of things we were going to have to deal with. But I love you, Charlie. I can't imagine ever loving someone else as much." He pressed a kiss to Charlie's temple, inhaling the perpetual scent of chalk and dry erase markers and that thing underneath that made him Charlie. It never failed to stir his blood and he tipped Charlie's head back for a long, slow, drugging kiss.  
  
Charlie returned the kiss, sweet and tender. "I love you."  
  
"Come on," Don said, "let's get some sleep." He yawned and stretched, letting Charlie take his hand as they went into the bedroom.  
  
As the morning light filtered in through the window, Don rolled over, trailing his fingers through the hair on Charlie's chest as he kissed his way down his body. Charlie woke slowly, moaning when the pleasure of Don's mouth around his cock filtered to his brain. They made love, slow and sweet, Charlie falling apart in increments under the assault of Don's hands and lips and tongue. Afterwards, they cleaned up and headed out for a late breakfast. Don was in the middle of eating his eggs when his phone rang. "Eppes," he answered absently, looking at Charlie's face. "Oh. Hey, Tom. No, it's my day off actually. Charlie and I are spending the day together. Hm? Oh. I'll ask." Don covered the mouthpiece. "Tom wants to know if you and I want to play a little basketball this afternoon. Some three on three?" he asked Charlie.  
  
Charlie hesitated then shrugged. "Sure, why not," he said, feeling magnanimous.  
  
"Yeah, we'll be there," Don said into the phone. "See you then." He smiled broadly at Charlie. "Thanks." His voice was soft and he reached under the table to find Charlie's hand. "You didn't have to do that. I know we were supposed to spend the day just us."  
  
"You're welcome," he said quietly. "I feel bad about how I reacted yesterday and besides, it's not all day. And as much as I love spending time with you, crave it, I don't want you to give up the rest of your life."  
  
Don grinned at Charlie, squeezing his hand in thanks and they passed the rest of the meal pleasantly.  
  
....  
  
Tom introduced Don and Charlie to the other three guys playing that afternoon, friends of Tom's from his office. Tom, Don and Charlie teamed up against them, actually beating them rather soundly. They exchanged some good-natured trash talk, none of the lawyers taking it particularly well when they found out they'd been beat by a mathematician. Don just grinned and ruffled Charlie's hair. "That's my brother," he beamed.   
  
"Come on," Tom said, "these guys owe us a beer."  
  
Don looked at Charlie, and Charlie shrugged. "Rain check, buddy," Don said. "Charlie and I have plans."  
  
"Change 'em," Tom needled. "Come on, Don. You can hang out with him anytime. Or does Daddy still make you drag him with you everywhere."  
  
The muscle in Don's jaw clenched. "You are _way_ over the line, Tom," Don said, low and dangerous. "Back off."  
  
"Look, I'm sorry, okay?" Tom said, stepping closer and dropping his voice. "I just don't get it. You used to hate having to go everywhere with him and now it's like you're joined at the hip."  
  
"People change, Tom," Don said, staring him down.  
  
"Yeah. So you keep saying. Look, it's great that you're friends and all, but you act like you have to check with him before you can do anything."  
  
"I said back off, Tom. You're my friend, but you can't just expect me to drop my plans each time you want to hang out. It's not fair to make me choose." And Don turned, patting Charlie on the shoulder as he walked past, heading for his SUV.  
  
"Everything okay?" Charlie asked quietly.  
  
"Fine," Don said curtly. He shook himself a little and managed a smile for Charlie. "Things'll be a lot better when I get you back to my place." Charlie grinned and Don was inwardly delighted at the small shiver that passed through him.  
  
....  
  
Tom called the next day, full of apologies and remorse and Don told him not to worry about it. They had lunch, called each other a couple names, and all was well. Tom tried to make it a point to invite Charlie along when he made plans with Don, but more times than not, Charlie begged off. Don was very careful to make plans with Charlie in advance, but more than once, Charlie would come by Don's after he'd finished with an equation for the day only to find Tom had "dropped in" again and the two were sharing a pizza and some beers while watching the game. Tom would stay late into the evening, and by that point, all Don would have the energy to do is quickly clean up and crawl into bed. After a month of this pattern, after a month of being relegated to something planned and scheduled, Charlie had had enough.  
  
"You know, I thought it would take us a lot longer to get to the stage where we schedule sex."  
  
"Wait, what?" Don looked up from the pot of chili he had simmering on the stove. "What are you talking about?"  
  
"I'm talking about us, Don. About the fact that we never have any time alone together unless it involves a case or we've scheduled it a week in advance."  
  
"That's overstating things a little don't you think?" Don said, dipping his head back to the food. "We didn't schedule the other night."  
  
"Having time together after Tom leaves doesn't count."  
  
Don dropped the spoon into the chili with a plop. "What do you want from me, Charlie?"  
  
"Damn it, Don, I want you! It seems like there's always something getting in the way. If it's not work, it's family, and if it's not family, it's Tom. I am not going to be something you have to squeeze into your life."  
  
"What do you want me to do, Charlie? I'm not going to work less, I'm not going to tell Dad that we can't spend time together because you want to be alone with me, and damn it, I like having friends outside of work."  
  
"And I want you to have friends, but he's. always. here. I feel like every time I turn around he's breathing down our necks!" Charlie threw up his hands and leaned heavily on the counter. "I'm tired of holding my breath each time I hear someone outside your apartment door because I'm afraid Tom is going to just drop in on us."  
  
"He is not always here and he is not breathing down our necks. You're overreacting. Come on, let's just have some dinner, okay?"  
  
"No, Don, it's not okay. You're not listening to a thing I'm saying!"  
  
"I am listening to what you're saying, you're just not making any sense! Should I tell Tom he's not welcome here? Would that make you happy? Because you're right. You're you and I'm me and we can't risk having Tom walk in on us cuddling on the couch. But you're not always here and I won't wait alone until _I_ fit in to _your_ schedule!"  
  
"Are you--are you sleeping with him?" he asked very quietly.  
  
"How can you even ask that? Tom's--" he was about to say like a brother but considering the circumstances that was hardly likely to be comforting, "--he's just a friend." Don took a deep breath. "Charlie, I love _you_. I want _you_. And I would never betray you like that. But I don't know what to do about this."  
  
"I um--I need to think for a while, okay?" he said hoarsely.  
  
"How long is a while?" Don said softly, fingers trailing along the counter.  
  
"I don't know. But I know that if I don't think about what I'm going to say, I'm going to say something stupid."  
  
"C'mon Charlie, please don't do this. We'll work it out. Just--don't cut me off." Don took a step forward but stopped when Charlie took a step back, patting the air between them.  
  
"I'm not cutting you off, I'm trying to see whether I can find a way to make this work."  
  
Stung, Don stepped back. He dropped his head and nodded. "Okay, Charlie. What-whatever you need to do." He looked around the kitchen. "Do you want to eat at least? I made this for us."  
  
He hesitated, because he really didn't want to stay, didn't want to sit through the awkward dinner. But Don already looked so hurt..."Okay," he said quietly.  
  
Don smiled at him a little gratefully, pulling bowls and forks out for them. He dished out the food and they ate in silence for a while. Don's phone rang and he sighed at the name displayed. It was exactly the last person he wanted to hear from just then. "Hey, Tom." He listened for a moment. "No, I can't tonight, I have plans. Hey listen, while I've got you, you know that girlfriend you keep hounding me about? Well, things between us have gotten quite a bit more serious. She's going to be over here a lot, so... your mother should wash your mouth out. Yeah, thanks. Lunch next week sounds good. Right." He clicked the phone shut but didn't look up at Charlie. He knew he'd been a complete ass and he knew just that wasn't going to be enough to put things right again. But he hoped it'd be a start.  
  
"Thank you," Charlie said softly. "I mean that."  
  
"You're welcome," Don said. He cleared his throat. Apologies were never something he was good at, but he supposed he should try and get better considering the number of times he was likely to screw up in this relationship. "I should have done it weeks ago. I probably should have done it when he first started coming around. But I never had to keep these kinds of boundaries before. I'm sorry."  
  
Charlie bit his lip. "Am I--am I being unreasonable?" he asked, genuinely curious.  
  
Don finally looked up, meeting Charlie's eyes. "No. You're not. Listen, I know this doesn't make it right, and I'm not trying to excuse it, but Tom and I have always shared everything. We were as close as two kids could be. We practically lived at each other's houses, so the idea of creating boundaries between us honestly never occurred to me. But it should have."  
  
"He's your brother," Charlie said, voice very quiet.  
  
Don put his fork down and reached tentatively across the table, taking Charlie's hand loosely. "No, Charlie. _You're_ my brother. First and foremost. Always." He shrugged. "Tom's my brother in the way Coop is. They're both men whom I respect, men whom I'd trust my life with, but you? You're the only one I could have ever cried with over Mom. The only one I could have told how pissed I was that Terry went back to her ex when she didn't even like the guy. No one gets me the way you do. And I will always love you because of that."  
  
Charlie got up and sat on Don's lap, eyes burning. He held onto him as tightly as he dared. "When--When we were younger, I heard you say-- I love you, Don."  
  
"I love you, too, buddy," Don said quietly, wrapping his arms around him and squeezing. He pulled back and kissed Charlie firmly. "What did you hear me say when we were younger?"  
  
"It's stupid. I know it's stupid. But--when we were younger, I heard you tell Mom that you wished Tom were your brother instead of me."  
  
"Oh Charlie," Don said, brushing Charlie's curls back tenderly. "That hurt you a lot, didn't it?"   
  
Charlie nodded. "I sulked for weeks and refused to tell Mom why."  
  
Don chuckled. "I remember now. I'm pretty sure she punished me anyway," he said lightly. "And having Tom here now just brought all of that back, too, huh?"  
  
"Yes," he admitted softly. "I do want you to have friends, Don, I really do. I want you to have _Tom_ as a friend. I just..."  
  
"Shh," Don soothed. "I get it. We don't get to do the things normal couples do, have the kind of time together normal couples have, and that means every moment we get to spend together should be cherished. I promise, you're my first priority from now on. Which is the way it should be."  
  
"It's okay that I'm not sometimes," Charlie said gently. "I know the job and family will take first priority sometimes. But that's okay." He rested his forehead against Don's. "I love you. And if you're sure about this, about me..."  
  
Don angled his head up, kissing Charlie deeply, showing him rather than trying to tell him just how sure he was.  
  
"Love you, so much," Charlie said softly. He buried his face in the junction of Don's neck and shoulder.  
  
"I love you, too," Don said, running his hands down Charlie's back and cradling him softly. "Do-do you want to finish eating or should we move this someplace more comfortable?"  
  
"Bedroom," he said softly.  
  
Grinning, Don eased Charlie out of his lap and stood, kissing him deeply again. "I like the way you think," he purred, stroking his fingers down Charlie's cheek.  
  
"Thought you would," Charlie grinned. But then he pulled Don close for a tender kiss.  
  
"I really am sorry I was such an ass, Charlie," Don said. "You're the best thing in my life. I never want you to question that." He kissed him tenderly again. "Of course, at the rate I screw up, we'll get really good at make up sex."  
  
"Hey. You're not the only one that screws up," Charlie said firmly. "But I like the idea of make up sex."  
  
"Then c'mere," Don said, pulling Charlie close, kissing him and starting to back up slowly, taking Charlie with him. He intended to take this slow, show Charlie the attention he hadn't in the last weeks. He kicked the bedroom door shut and before he returned to Charlie, he pulled his phone off his belt and turned it off. "Just in case."  
  
He didn't ask if Don was sure, he'd never have done it if he wasn't. And his apartment phone was still on so if they really needed him they could reach him, which was as it should be.   
  
"Love you," he whispered, kissing Don gently.  
  
"Love you," Don replied. "More than I thought possible." He pulled Charlie close, letting the gentle, tender kiss slide into something deeper, more passionate, filled with heat.  
  
Charlie started to unbutton Don's shirt, kissing each bit of newly exposed flesh.  
  
Don moaned softly as Charlie's lips sought out his most sensitive places. His fingers dipped under the hem of Charlie's t-shirt caressing the warm skin lightly, letting himself get reacquainted with his texture and feel.  
  
Charlie shivered a little and leaned into Don's touch. He had _missed_ this.  
  
Don's hands worked their way under Charlie's shirt, caressing the firm back muscles as he leaned in to nibble on Charlie's neck, kissing the spot behind his ear guaranteed to make him shiver in his arms. "God Charlie," Don breathed in his ear. "You feel so good. Never want anyone in my arms this way but you."  
  
"Better not," Charlie said lightly, shivering. He tilted his head back to give Don better access and let his eyes drift closed for a moment.  
  
Chuckling, Don paused only to remove Charlie's shirt before resuming his careful exploration of Charlie's body with his hands and tongue. "You're supposed to say you'd never want to be in anyone's arms but mine," Don murmured playfully, backing Charlie to the bed and urging him to sit.  
  
Charlie smiled and laid his arms across Don's shoulders when he knelt in front of him. "I do not now nor have I ever wanted to be in anyone's arms but yours," Charlie said solemnly.  
  
"That's more like it," Don said, leaning up to capture Charlie's mouth as his hands started to pull at his belt buckle. Right at that moment, getting Charlie naked was high on his list of priorities.  
  
"And it has the added benefit of being true."  
  
Don stopped, looking up from his spot on the floor in front of Charlie. He ran his fingers under Charlie's chin tenderly, looking him directly in the eyes. "I love you, with everything I am," he murmured.  
  
"Love you, too," Charlie said, kissing Don gently. "I've always wanted you, will always want you. Love you."  
  
He placed his hands back on Charlie's belt. "Need you, Charlie," Don said, dipping his head to nibble on Charlie's collarbone again.  
  
"You have me," Charlie promised. "Have anything you want."  
  
That low, sultry, almost needy tone went straight to Don's cock and he claimed Charlie's mouth, hungry and fierce as he pulled at his belt. His free hand palmed Charlie's cock through the material of his jeans.  
  
Charlie whimpered and moaned, letting his head fall onto Don's shoulder. "Don please," he whispered.  
  
He pulled Charlie down into a deep kiss as he opened his pants, sliding his hand into the folds of his boxers and stroking him firmly.  
  
Charlie shivered and stroked the back of Don's head. "Want you in me. Please."  
  
"God, Charlie," Don breathed. He pushed up from his spot on the floor, laying Charlie back on the bed and crawling on top of him. He pulled Charlie's jeans off, quickly divesting himself of his own clothes.  
  
"Much better," Charlie said, immediately applying himself to licking and touching and tasting as much of Don's skin as he could. _Mine_.  
  
Don reached for the lubricant, letting his head fall back to give Charlie all the access he wanted. His free hand roamed along Charlie's skin, touching and teasing, before he slicked his fingers generously, sliding two deep inside him.  
  
Charlie moaned and held Don tightly, nipping at his skin. "Love you."  
  
"Love you," Don murmured, kissing Charlie's jaw. He slid his third finger inside quickly and slicked his cock, sliding deep into Charlie in one long thrust.  
  
Charlie moaned and arched against him. "Yes! So good, Don."  
  
Soft grunts and moans of pleasure worked out of Don's throat as he pushed deep into Charlie. Their sweat-slicked skin slid easily across each other and Don ran his hands through the hair on Charlie's chest. His fingers teased at the length of his cock before stroking him firmly in time to his long, slow, thrusts.  
  
Charlie shivered and licked at Don's skin, sucking lightly, fighting the urge to mark.  
  
Don moaned, his eyes rolling back as Charlie's teeth grazed his skin. He sped up his thrusts a little, wanting to build their pleasure slowly. Dipping his head, he sucked on Charlie's neck, feeling his pulse beat rapidly under his tongue. "Mine," he murmured into the salty, warm skin.  
  
"Yours," Charlie agreed. "For as long as you want me."  
  
"Forever," Don grunted, dropping his head to Charlie's shoulder and panting as his pleasure spiked, singing along his nerves. He changed the angle of his thrusts, nudging at Charlie's prostate hard and fast, over and over.  
  
"Don!" He was close, the ground rapidly crumbling under him as he tried to hang on, to make it last.  
  
Don's hands came up under Charlie's shoulders, pulling him against his undulating body as he thrust deep once more, holding him tight enough to bruise before he shuddered and came with an inarticulate groan.  
  
They held each other as the shaking eased and slowly subsided, panting into each other's skin. "Holy shit," Don whispered, his overtaxed muscles protesting as he slipped from Charlie's body and rolled to the side, gathering him close again. "Hadn't realized how much I needed that."  
  
"Me either," Charlie confessed. He'd guessed, but he hadn't _known_.  
  
He arranged them so Charlie's head was pillowed on his shoulder. "Wanna do it again?" Don grinned at him.  
  
Charlie smiled. "Absolutely."  
  
"Then c'mere," Don said, pulling Charlie up into his lap, getting him to straddle his hips. Charlie bent down to claim Don's mouth and Don let his hands roam along Charlie's skin. When Charlie sat up again, smiling down at Don and caressing his skin, Don ran his fingers through Charlie's curls, looking deeply into his eyes. It didn't matter that it was still going to be a bit before he was recovered enough to get going again, it was going to be fun allowing Charlie to explore, and that was really the important thing.   
  
Charlie sucked one of Don's fingers into his mouth, just to see Don's eyes roll back in his head and he knew Don was his for the rest of the night.  
  
"Always wanted to explore you like this," he said softly. "Take my time. Learn all your secrets."  
  
"Take all the time you need," Don purred, "I'm not going anywhere." He pulled Charlie down into another deep kiss, giving himself over to the pleasure Charlie was creating, letting go more fully and completely than he ever had before.  
  
Charlie gently maneuvered Don into a spread-eagle position so that he'd have better access. "Where do you think you're most sensitive?"  
  
Don groaned. He'd never heard Charlie's voice like that and he was not prepared for the things it did to him. His cock was already starting to show interest again. He cleared his throat. "My neck, right over the pulse."  
  
"Shall we see if you're right? Have to test that spot first, of course."  
  
"What--" Don's breath hitched, "--whatever you want, Charlie. It's yours. I'm yours."  
  
"Yeah?" he asked, grinning. "Think I can make you say please? Please Charlie, please?" he asked, rocking against his brother.  
  
"Oh God Charlie," Don groaned breathlessly, his hips twitching up into Charlie's heat. "Maybe," he replied, clearing his throat. "Anything's possible."  
  
Charlie laughed and lowered his head to lick at Don's pulse point before sucking lightly, using just a faint hint of teeth.  
  
Don wrapped his arms around Charlie tightly, arching into the contact. "Fuck. Oh fuck, Charlie," he moaned wantonly, angling his head back and begging with his body for more.  
  
Charlie echoed his moan and bit down again. "Not a please yet, Don. Have to keep exploring."  
  
His hands roamed, and Don gasped when Charlie grazed a nipple. Grinning, Charlie bent his head, sucking lightly on Don's pulse point again, not hard enough to leave a mark, and teased his nipple at the same time.  
  
"Jesus! God, _please_ ," Don moaned. "Please, Charlie."  
  
"Please what, Don?" he asked in his most innocent voice. "Please stop? Please harder? Please faster?"  
  
"Please more," Don nearly sobbed. Charlie was so close, and his cock was aching, throbbing, begging for attention. "Please fuck me," he said, voice small, soft, and uncertain.  
  
Charlie stilled, not to be cruel but because Don had to be absolutely sure. "Is that really what you want? Be sure, Don. There are others things I can do to give you release."  
  
"Don't want just release," Don insisted. "Want all of you. I'm sure, Charlie. Fuck me," he repeated, his voice reflecting his confidence.  
  
"Okay," he said softly. He kissed Don gently and quickly located the lube. "Have you done this before?"  
  
Don looked away from Charlie's eyes. He'd never told him about Cooper and didn't think now was exactly the best time to elaborate. But Charlie'd had lovers before him, so he figured he'd understand. "Yes," he replied simply, "but not for a while."  
  
"Okay," Charlie said softly, stroking Don's cheek. "I'll be careful."  
  
Don grabbed Charlie's wrist and cleared his throat. "Not--not too careful though, okay?" He flushed, a little embarrassed to be asking for this.  
  
Charlie's eyes widened a little in surprise but all he said was, "Need a safeword then, Don."  
  
"Coffee. Cream to slow down." Charlie's hand caressed his skin again, making him moan. "Oh fuck, please."  
  
"I'm going to take care of you, Don. I promise." He generously slicked his fingers and nudged Don's entrance with one finger.  
  
Don's hand tightened on Charlie's bicep as he let his head fall back, a low moan escaping. It'd been a long time since he'd felt this needy and this much pleasure all at once and it was made all the sweeter just because it was Charlie providing it. "L-love you... oh, fuck, yes. More," he groaned.  
  
Charlie nibbled at the pulse point on Don's throat as he slid a second finger inside. "Love you, Don," he said, crooking his fingers.  
  
Gasping, Don arched, nearly coming just from that. Charlie was making it next to impossible for him to hold on and his control was shredding quickly at the edges. "Please, Charlie, please just do it."  
  
He briefly slid a third finger in because even if Don liked it rough he didn't want to really hurt him, then he lined himself up.  
  
"Yes, Charlie," Don said softly, looking up into his brother's eyes, knowing he would need that last bit of reassurance before he slid deeply into him.  
  
Charlie kissed him gently and then carefully slid inside him, holding completely still as he let Don adjust.  
  
Taking a deep breath, Don let it out slowly, forcing himself to relax and adjust. He lifted his hips in invitation, eyes rolling back slightly as pleasure spread through his body.  
  
Charlie kissed him again, moving slowly at first, long slides in and out. "Okay?"  
  
"More than okay," Don moaned breathlessly. "God, so good Charlie. Please. Harder, please."  
  
Charlie did as Don asked, drawing almost all the way out in a slow glide and then slamming back into him.  
  
"Yes! God, fuck!" Don cried out. He wrapped his arms and legs around Charlie as best he could, trying to draw him in close. He'd forgotten how good this could be and he let himself ride the waves of pleasure as they crashed around him.  
  
"That's it Don, just let go. Let go for me."  
  
"Ch-Charlie," Don moaned. "Need--God, please."  
  
Charlie leaned down, nipping at the spot over Don's pulse, wrapping his hand around Don's cock and stroking firmly as he slammed into him over and over again. Don cried out, jerking and shuddering, his fingers clamping on Charlie's biceps hard enough to bruise as he came, his vision blurring.  
  
Don's orgasm was too much. It tipped him over the edge before he was really ready, but he caught himself before he fell on Don. "Don!" he whispered.  
  
"Charlie," Don breathed, bringing leaden arms up to caress Charlie's skin. "Love you." His eyes were starting to drift shut and he forced them to stay open.  
  
"Love you, too. It's okay, Don," he said, stroking his cheek gently. "You can let go. Don't have to fight sleep."  
  
"You'll be here? You'll stay with me?" Don asked muzzily, Charlie's heat pulling him ever closer to sleep.  
  
"I'll be right here," Charlie promised, gently withdrawing from Don's heat with a soft whimper. "Right here with you."  
  
Don helped Charlie arrange himself carefully on top of him, not wanting to lose the connection between them just yet. He liked the feel of Charlie's curls on his skin, Charlie's weight pressed against him. "Love you," he murmured, letting his eyes drift closed and sliding easily into sleep.  
  
"I love you, too," Charlie whispered, drifting off with the sound of Don's steady heartbeat under his ear.


End file.
